Today, I Found a Fountain

Now, I realize this may not seem like news, but I found something that I’ve passed numerous times and never noticed it was there. It was a fountain on the court square in the little town that I work in.

Let me rewind a bit...I recently decided to back off from social media. Not entirely, as cold turkey doesn’t always pan out, but more or less “portion-control” when and how I use social media. As you know from our blog, we consider ourselves minimalists. We purge various areas of our lives regularly and follow others who have done the same. Recently, I’ve come across some podcasts that have talked about social media and the “twitch” that it induces, along with the barriers it creates.

With the start of August, I decided to sign out of the apps on my phone and hide them in a folder. That way, I can still access them if I feel the need, but out of sight, out of mind. This forced me to be intentional with my time on the various platforms. The first day, I logged on once from a computer, checked notifications, looked at the first couple of posts in my newsfeed, and logged off. Since then, I really haven’t even had the desire to get back on and it’s only the second day.

Today, I decided to put in earbuds and tune into a podcast while going for a walk around downtown. That is where I came across a fountain that I had never seen before. Right smack dab in the middle of town. It’s not much, and doesn’t even flow very well, but it was shaded by a large tree and between that and the cool breeze, I decided to sit and just be for a while. It was a much needed pause in the middle of my hectic day.

The moral here is I was able to sit there and just enjoy the space and the moment. No likes, no comments, no useless information. Just absorbing and basking in the time and space in which I was in. That’s what we miss when we’re distracted by digital pacifiers. While I was there today, my phone never left my pocket, except to take a picture of my mid-day discovery so I could capture the moment in which I enjoyed just existing, and nothing more.

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 6

We've made it 6 weeks with Simplify Your Gifting! It's our hope that the last 5 posts have made you think or rethink about your gifting...and not just for the holidays, but gifting throughout the year.

Today's post sums up the whole series...think outside the box! We've covered a lot of gifting ideas that aren't thought of as the usual gift. Who says you have to be like everyone else? It's way more fun to be different! All of today's ideas are going to be a reminder of what we've already covered...and maybe a few new ones!

Outside the box ideas:

• Class or lesson fees
• Membership fees for things like Amazon Prime, book club, or a monthly "box" subscription (Dollar Shave Club, Crate Joy, Ipsy, Fab Fit Fun, Blue Apron, flower shop delivery, etc.)
• Subscriptions (think Highlights magazine...they now have products for 3 different age groups)
• Family pass for a local attraction (sport complex, museum, aquarium, movie theater, etc.)
• Gift cards - yeah, this is a popular gift for some givers, but that's because it's a no-brainer. A gift card allows the recipient to get what they want/need or it could be a much appreciated treat. Think of the young couple who might be just making ends meet...a restaurant gift card would be a perfect date night on someone else's tab (throw in an offer to babysit for free and you've given them a really nice gift). This is also a great way to gift your college student or a young single.
• Hostess gifts - wine is always good, personalized towel set or cutting board, flower arrangement or personalized wreath
• Support a hobby - brushes for the artist, lessons for the young musician, leotards for the dancer
• Time - who says you have to buy anything at all? Sometimes the best gift is just the gift of time. Do a holiday brunch or lunch for/with friends! You could buy or go Dutch...either way, you get to enjoy great food and company.

We want to take a minute to thank you for joining us the last 6 weeks for this series and hope that it's made an impact on your holiday thinking. Consumerism is at its height during the holidays and we're not buying it!

Happy gifting!

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 5

This is a gift idea we are implementing this year...our first year as an official family of 6. Yep...6, that's actually one of the reasons we are doing a family gift.

This year it will look like a trip to the movie theater. A trip like that for a family of 6 can be expensive! We've done it once before and Jason had some sticker shock. We're banking on this idea being a good one for our 6 because we all love movies and our 2 youngest can make it through a whole movie! They love going to the movies and see it as a treat, which makes it a perfect gift.

Other family gift ideas:

• Trip to a museum (or a family pass for the next year)
• Family paint class
• Trip to a holiday special (ice skating and hot chocolate, special light display, etc.)
• A sporting event (doesn't necessarily have to be a winter sport, this could be a gift to look forward to)
• A concert or show (another idea that could be after the holidays)
• A special activity on family vacation (think ahead to where you might be vacationing and look for ideas that would special while already away)

My last idea is bigger...vacation. If you're kids are already full in the toy department or your kids are grown and really don't need anything else, why not save the money you would have used for gifting to do a big family gift of vacation? This could be near the holidays or it could be later in the year. If you still need something for everyone to open, think of some things they might need on the future trip. Beach vacation...new beach towels and/or other beach gear. Mountain vacation....hiking gear. Vacation abroad...passports, non-touristy clothing items/gear, new camera, more memory cards and/or an extra battery for existing camera. Any vacation location...luggage.

I look forward to the fun of this gift and can't wait to see how this trip looks in the years to come. Cheers to the family gift!

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 4

This week's post is about -ship gifting. What is -ship gifting, you ask? This is another idea for giving that could involve goving back through scholarship or sponsorship. -ship gifting could be in honor of someone or it could be for your intended gift recipient.

-ship gifting could look like paying for a month of dance lessons, sports lessons, activity participation fees, or possibly camp fees.

-ship gifting in honor of someone could look like paying for several children to attend a camp or summer enrichment program. Check with your local youth organizations and see if they already have a scholarship fund set up for helping pay fees for kids who's parents can't afford it.

-ship gifting could also look like supporting a friend or family member participating on a mission trip or supporting a missionary in their name.

-ship gifting could also look like sponsoring a local classroom. You could honor a family member by supplying local children with coats for the winter.

-ship gifting allows you to either support your loved one in their passions or you could honor them by giving back. What an amazing way to gift this holiday season!

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 3

This week's post is about gifting community. I like this idea for the people in your life that already have everything and need nothing. Why not gift in their honor? I've come up with some suggestions, but let these be a starting point for you.

Gifting community ideas:

• Breakfast for local service men and women - what better way to honor a loved one and those serving your community? These men and women are away from their loved ones during the holidays serving and protecting while we are with ours.
• Teacher luncheon - honor a teacher in your life by providing lunch for staff at a local school. If you can't afford lunch, consider having danish or cookies delivered.
• Treat your nurses - nursing staff don't always get to spend the holidays with their families, show your appreciation by having breakfast or cookies delivered to nursing stations.
• Community Meal support - honor a loved one by donating to a community holiday meal. If you don't have the resources to donate you could volunteer to help with the meal.
• Local organization support - I'm a little partial to this one because of my day job. Chances are high that your community has at least 2 non-profit organizations that are looking for donors to support their programs. Honor a family member by donating to one of these organizations.
• Other ideas - purchase coats for kids in need, donate supplies to a local school serving low income children, donate socks to a local nursing home, donate diapers and/or formula to a local crisis nursery or pregnancy center, donate to your local shop with a cop, donate to your local food pantry, and the list goes on and on and on.

Gifts for your family don't have to be tangible for them, but could mean a lot to someone else. I can't think of a better way to honor those we love than by supporting others.

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 2

Last week I presented the idea of checking items off your gifting list by using small/local businesses. In this week's post, I'll talk about giveback gifting. Giveback gifting (my phrasing) is the use of purchasing item/s from a company that use part or all of their profits to benefit others. I'm sure there are a ton of these companies out there...I'm just providing you with a couple to get you started. I love the idea of purchasing from a companies or organizations that do this, don't you?

Giveback gifting ideas:

• Love Your Melon - what better gift at Christmas than a warm cozy beanie?! From their site: Love Your Melon is an apparel brand dedicated to giving a hat to every child battling cancer in America as well as supporting nonprofit organizations who lead the fight against pediatric cancer. Learn more about their mission and products by clicking here.
• Hope Outfitters - looking for a t-shirt or hoodie to gift this Christmas? Consider shopping with Hope Outfitters. From their site: Every 4-6 months we partner with a new charity, work to create awareness for it and donate 100% of the profits from the sale of our clothing back to its cause.  We call it, Buy 1 Give 100--You buy 1 or more items and we give 100% of the profits back to the cause. Learn more about their mission and products by clicking here.
• Pura Vida Bracelets - maybe you're looking to gift small or add a little something to stockings...consider purchasing a bracelet that supports a cause close to your gift recipients heart. From their site: Giving back has always been core belief at Pura Vida, which is why we started the Charity Collection. Since the beginning, we have partnered with over 190 different charities around the world and have donated more than $1,500,000 to causes we believe in. At Pura Vida, we dream to do more, which is why we’re always on the lookout for new charities that can benefit from this collection. Check out their list of charities to find just the right bracelet. Learn more about their mission and products by clicking here.

A quick Google search brought up this list of over 30 charitable companies - click here. And some of the same companies appear on this list. And another list here.  We'd love to know some of your favorite companies and organizations that are part of this idea of giveback gifting!

Simplify Your Gifting, Part 1

This week's gifting ideas are all about small businesses and shopping local.

Look at your gifting list and see if any of the items can be purchased locally from a local artist or maker. I'm going to guess that you live in a community with at least one small business that is locally owned...you may even know the owner. Why not support them during the holiday shopping season when lots of others are flocking to the big box stores or shopping online?

Shopping locally could mean purchasing some items that are a little outside the box. (I have a whole separate post about this, but you can always come back and reference this when we get to that week ;) ) We may not live in the same community, but use this post as a guide for you to consider similar ideas for the people on your gifting list. Think of the small businesses in your community and how you can incorporate them into your gift buying this year.

Small business/local shopping ideas:

• local candy shop - We have a gourmet popcorn shop in our town and I've been gifted with some of their popcorn before and it's AMAZING! Gifts like this can be kind of expensive, so this could be a nice little treat for someone. This is a consumable gift which means after it's been enjoyed there is no need to find a place to store it long term.
• local coffee shop/eatery - Do you have a coffee lover in your life? Treat them with some fresh found coffee and s gift card to their local coffee shop. We consider it a treat to visit our local coffee shop and indulge in a speciality coffee and delicious pastry. If you're in our town, you'll want to stop by Joe Sippers. 
• local winery - We have a couple of wineries in our surrounding community. Why not treat someone with a bottle of a favorite or even a gift card...better yet, a bottle and a gift card. Sometimes gift cards/certificates to local businesses like this can be used towards special event nights. A nice bottle of wine is a perfect party hostess gift or an easy one to pick up for a office gift drawing. Our favorite is Tuscan Hills.
• local artisans - Local artists typically sell their work at other local businesses....stop in for a look and maybe grab their business card. You never know what they might have at home that's not available around town. Local art could be paintings, pottery, jewelry, homemade skincare products, etc. 
• Small business spotlight: 51 Woodworks - Do you have a writer or business person (or lover of pens) in your life? I have just the guy for you.  I'm giving a shout to a friend from high school in this post. I started following his woodworking page several months back and he does great work. He makes STUNNING custom ink pens from wood and/or resin.
  
  Seriously, he does beautiful work! Currently his work is found on Facebook on his page, 51 Woodworks. Click here to see some of his work.
• Small business spotlight: Lemondime- I found this artist at a artisan market a few years back and then started following her on Facebook. She makes pretty necklaces and does sales on her page...click here to visit Lemondime!
  
  One of the things I love about her work is that she uses her talent to inspire others with the pieces she makes. As a lover of words, these are some of my favorites.

When gifting this year, try marking some gifts off your list with local shops and small businesses.

Simplify Your Gifting

It's the time of year when you are either going crazy trying to mark every last item off your gifting list or you're dreading the part where you have to drag yourself out of the house and shop with all the crazies.

Some people love this time of year because of the shopping, but if you're like me it's more like hot chocolate and peanut butter fudge that get you through the madness. I have always loved this time of year because of the food, family, and twinkle lights. (Twinkle lights are my favorite! ❤) I love giving and receiving gifts too...I don't like how the world has changed our mindset of gifting.

The holidays have become so commercialized and more about the consumer than about the gift or the thought. Join us for the next 6 weeks, as we share some ideas on gifting and saving ourselves from the madness. It's time to reclaim gifting!

No Thanks for the Memories

Wanna hear something crazy? I burned my high school yearbooks. (Insert gasps here)

It’s come to my attention lately that we treat trophies and photo albums like holy grails. An object that hails highly in our mind as being a symbol of a memory or accomplishment, but where is that memory really held? Things only have whatever meaning or value we give to them. The memories are inside of us, not the object.

That’s why I burned my yearbooks. Let’s be honest, most of us probably didn’t have the most amazing high school experience. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and away from all the immature drama and the stigma that went along with it. I never really had a “crowd” I fit in with, and I already had a summer camp job lined up after my senior year that caused me to miss my graduation ceremony, and I couldn’t have cared less. I was ready to move on, so looking back, I don’t really want to be reminded of all of that. My best memories throughout my teens were made outside of school.

The four dusty books that just took up space and were constantly being shuffled around had to go. Call it an effigy if you will, but ceremony notwithstanding, it needed to be done to release the anxiety and frustration that came with keeping them around, now 15 years later. The people I care to remember are friends on Facebook, but even at that, we rarely speak. We all have families, jobs, and hobbies that keep us busy now. It’s all part of the circadian rhythm that is life.

Alicia has started to do some of this too. We found disks that contained the same pictures she had multiple albums of, so we decided to pitch the hard copies in sake of redundancy. Digitalizing documents and photos is a great way to declutter, and also maintain the integrity of the items that you hold dear in case of an emergency.

I’m not telling you that you need to go out and do what we did, but really start to think about the keepsakes in your house, and what the sake is you’re keeping them for. Memories? Those are inside YOU! Objects, trophies, pictures, they don’t tell the whole story. You do. 

Enough

Through divine intervention, I stumbled upon a book that would strengthen not only my choice of this simple living lifestyle, but also my faith. When I first started looking at minimalism, I wasn't viewing it as something faith-based, but more of a practical I-want-less-stress-and-stuff viewpoint. I now see why this was the book I found instead of the one I set out searching for.  Enough: Finding More by Living with Less by Will Davis Jr. is thought provoking and each new chapter and section moved me into a deeper understanding of what I had really gotten myself into.

Book break-down: Davis breaks the book down into the 5 views of living this sort of "enough" mentality. He starts out by discussing what this "enough" is and what it means to have enough. The second view is of  More Than Enough. This view is about living with more than what we really need and how this is or isn't biblical and how those who have more than enough can greatly impact others around them. The third view is on Less Than Enough. He goes in depth on what it looks like to have less than what is actually needed and how even those who have less than enough can greatly impact those around them. The fourth view is Moving Toward Enough. In this section, he writes about how we start moving towards this idea of enough and how we start looking at the value of things around us. The fifth view is Less is More. Davis discusses what it looks like once we've achieved the idea of "enough" and how it can radically change us.

"Our culture pushes us to strive for more - more money, more stuff, more clout. But how much is enough?"

This book so deeply impacted me in this lifestyle and I am now seeing it from a biblical standpoint. Back in January, I thought I was on a simple journey of decluttering and letting go of things I no longer needed, but this book has kicked it up a notch. It was sometime in June that I first posed the questions to Jason, "how do we know when we have enough? How will we know when we're done decluttering?"

I realize that the following won't fully make sense to you without having read the book, but I hope I've provided enough provoking thoughts to make you want to dive in, so, here it goes...

• A small section in the book of Proverbs talks about a man named Agur and how he prays that God will give him enough. "Give me just enough to satisfy my needs." Do we really need any more than enough?
• One of the greatest struggles we face in today's world is contentment. If we don't have the latest and greatest, we're not good enough. If we don't look a certain way, we're not good enough. Isn't it time we have enough of this thinking?!?
• We are manipulated by the world to think that everything we have is the most valuable thing, but if you were faced with a house fire and only had 30 seconds to get everything valuable, what would you grab? What is truly the most valuable?
• There are times when God gives us more than enough to help those around us who have less than enough, but we don't see the need because of the wool covering our eyes.
• When we have an excess coming in, we don't need bigger barns for storage, we need to use the excess to bless others around us.
• Scripture tells us that we are called to take care of those who don't have enough or those who have less than enough. Have you encountered any of these people or are you so caught up in your own enough that you are missing them right in front of you? I know I am.
• Most Americans have no clue what it's like to live with less than enough. Not everyone in the category of "less than enough" had a choice for where they are in life.
• Where does your value lie? If you really want to know, follow the trail of where your money goes daily.
• What are we really doing with what we have? Are we using what we have to meet a need?
• If we don't know what we really have in storage or surplus, do we really need it? What if we all developed a sort of "just keep it" mentality?
• God isn't necessarily asking us to use something we don't have - He just wants us to use what He's already given us. Just ask Moses.
• Are we too scared to leap for fear of not being able to see where we will land?

Back to my own questions - how do we know when we have enough? - I know we have enough, we still have more than enough and there are days when the thought of that beats me up and tries to break me down. We have more than we need, but maybe this is our time of being full so that we can be used to help those around us...maybe this is our time to be a blessing. How will we know when we're done decluttering? - I still don't know the answer to this one, but just today I woke up thinking about needing to let go of some things in my closet and then at church was presented with a way to use my purged items to meet the needs of someone else. I don't know if we'll ever be done (it can be a very draining, but humbling process), but in the mean time, while we are determining our idea of enough, we are being used to help others and have been given a voice to share what we're learning on this journey.

10 Items or Less

No, I’m not talking about the express lane at the local store. It’s a concept I came up with while driving and thinking (both of which happen a lot these days, especially together). I tend to be slightly, ok, more than slightly OCD with things and to help me along with this minimalistic lifestyle, I almost need to put numbers with things. Goals. Limits. I’m a man, so compartmentalizing is second nature.

My idea was with clothing, to keep each “category” to 10 items or less. This means 10 t-shirts, 10 dress shirts, 10 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of socks, 10 hats, etc. This was extremely difficult for me in the beginning because I had way more than 10 of each. Sometimes 3-5 times more than that. It was ridiculous. I now wear a work shirt 5 days a week, so my t-shirt drawer became even more of a waste of space.

I had to amend some areas, such as pants. I don’t need 10 pairs of jeans, slacks, and shorts individually, so I decided to lump them all into 1. I have 4 pair of cargo shorts that I like, and in the summer, I can’t wear them too many times before they need washed, so 4 is a good number for me. I only have 2 pairs of slacks, and that’s only because 1 belongs to my only suit for the dressiest occasions. That left 4 open spots for jeans, which is also a good number for me. I wear them the rest of the year, and 1 of the 4 is considered a “work” pair that are older I don’t care if they get torn up.

Another category that I made a conglomeration was the “comfy clothes” area. I like gym shorts and sweat pants to lounge around the house in. I currently have 1 pair of swim trunks, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, and a set of thermal underclothes for when it gets really cold. That still leaves me with 1 spot, but I’ll be pairing down this group again soon, so I won’t even have 10, thus the “less” part of the equation.

You get the point. It helps me keep things in check and also helps with the “1 in, 1 out” mentality that I would like to get to. Only replacing and not adding to. The point is just to learn to live with less, and the numbers don’t always matter, but for me, it helped me stay inside my own box and gave me boundaries. I know I’m not the only one like me out there. Hopefully this gives you a new approach that will help you lose the excess and keep it out.

Man Up

We see it everywhere today, a rising epidemic of boys not being raised into men. A neuterization of the male population, where they can order a latte and hold a webinar, but can’t change a tire or fix a leaky faucet. Some can’t even change a light bulb. I was fortunate enough to have a father who was a jack of all trades. A product of hard work and good raising. Where the value of a hard day’s work and a hard earned dollar are more important than the clothes on your back and the car you drive or even the house you live in. He never did anything around the house without telling me to come and watch because one day, I would be the man of my house and would need to know how to do that. I owe him for the man I am in that aspect. 

Sometimes, I know just enough to be dangerous, but I still know what I’m doing for the most part and there is very little I have to ask help for, and it’s all because of him.

If you’re reading this, and are a man with children, remember that you are a majority of the influence they have in their life. If you have a boy, show them how to be a man. How to do the fundamentals in life, and also how to be a gentleman and treat women with love and respect. If you have a girl, set the standard for men in their life. Let them see what they should look for in a husband and be the benchmark that they gauge every boyfriend against.

 “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they won’t depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Go Through Old Shoes

You know that one pair of shoes that just fit your feet? The ones that are scuffed with signs of hard wear. The ones that the sole flaps a little when you walk. The ones that have a permanent knot in the shoe lace because it's been there since you can remember. Those are the ones. Those are your go to and possibly your favorite. Yeah, those. They need to go.

We tend to hold on to something that is beyond repair for the sake of holding on. For the sentiment of "they're my favorite" or "I've had them forever." Shoes aren't meant to last forever. Shoes happen to be a consumable item. We wear them and when their time is done, they have to be replaced. Runners know this. Avid runners know how many miles their running shoes should have and when it's time to retire a pair, they let go and purchase a new pair for the passion. They know that running in worn out shoes isn't good for their habit of running.

So let's talk about habits. They're hard to break. On the flip side they can be hard to start, especially good-for-you habits, like eating healthy and exercise. Bad habits are so easy to start and can turn themselves into an addiction quickly. How many of us are guilty of picking up our phone first thing after waking up? How many of us are guilty of mindless scrolling of social media during our morning habit of coffee? What about while driving? At work? At lunch? At family dinner? At church? Do you see where I'm going? What once started out as an innocent click to share something funny or a cute photo of our children has now become this habit that is consuming most, if not all, of our time. It's like the old pair of shoes..."just one quick check," "oh, that's too cute not to share," "quick, let's take a selfie and post how much fun we're having!" That one little click of the icon turns into minutes and then hours of clicking and scrolling, searching and browsing.

Recently, I upgraded my phone (was it a necessity, no...did it end up saving us money on our phone bill, yes) and switching over all the stuff from my old phone was supposed to be easy - log on, sync accounts, and voila - done! Yeah, not so much. With this upgrade, I found old contacts still in my phone and apps that I don't use or need. It also made me evaluate whether or not I needed those "old shoe" apps front and center on my home screen. So here's me...tossing the old shoes (no I'm not completely ditching social media), I'm just making it harder for myself to mindlessly "just check."

Measure Twice...Cut Once

Ahh, the smell of Home Depot...where does that smell transport you? I go back to my childhood when I'd go to the hardware store with my dad. I was taken back this weekend when Jason and I walked through the automatic doors; it was like they were ushering us in.

The project: bunk beds. I've been tucking the twins in mini cribs/mini beds for almost 3 years. And each night, I've been watching their feet slowly like through the end slats. I've searched Pinterest, page after page, and then angels started singing when I laid my eyes on a link for making crib mattress size bunk beds (ahhhh!).

I mentioned my idea to Jason and he took it from there. He drew up plans and figured out how much lumber we would need using the least amount of cuts. He wanted to get the most out of the purchase and...we did!

We did make some minor adjustments to the plans in Home Depot and after all was said and done, we had 3 small, extra boards. We were able to finish the assembly of the bunk beds in an afternoon and survived our first building project together.

This project shed some light on spending habits...have we gotten so far off track that we're not even measuring at all before making a purchase? I can't tell you the number of times I've carried around and item in the store just to leave it behind because I decided I didn't need it, or the number of times I've left a store without buying anything. Crossing their consumer driven threshold doesn't legally bind you to making a purchase befor exiting.

Measuring can be going through your closet again to make a second purge or it's asking a neighbor if you can borrow the tool you need. Maybe it's doing an inventory of your bills to make sure you're using the services you're paying for, but it's also about measuring our heart for what we really need to be happy. I don't need the excess to just lay around and take up space...I don't want to have to clean around more junk! I would rather take the time to measure again just in case than make a purchase that left me wanting more and feeling less. 

I'm of the mindset of cutting the excess. How about you?

The Purge 2

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and before you know it the year is almost half over and you're feeling crowded out by all the junk you've let creep back in. It's daunting. It's frustrating. It's exhausting. Seriously. How did I let it start piling up again?!? UGH!

On my first trip through my junk I felt like I let go of a lot, but there was still a ton of crap when I started today's purge. And that's where I'm at...I'm in this weird in between place on this journey. Between what I want and what I really need. Some people might think it's crazy to have 5 white tanks, but when I wear one almost everyday...they are a staple item for me. Same goes for my black tanks. Those stay. End of story. But...do I really need 5 white t-shirts when I don't even wear one of those a month?

I was conservative when I went through my closet in February, but today I really looked at things that I had the chance to wear in the last 5 months and still didn't...so off they went. All of this is still a journey and each day is one step closer to living more simplistic. That's the end goal. Living a life where I don't feel burdened down by the things that surround me. The things that are part of my home. Each step of this journey has a new challenge, but I know that in the end it will have all been worth it.

Momma Pause

I recently used the phrase momma pause in an Instagram post and I'm noticing they are becoming more frequent or maybe just more intentional. Parenting is hard and rewarding, tiring and energizing, noble and crazy. We are a cable free house, as I've mentioned before, and that change was much less of a big deal than I thought it was going to be. Those moments, previously wasted by mindless TV, are now spent on things that need to be done around the house or reading (if I can string a few of those moments together) or more play time with my kids or more of these pauses.

So what exactly am I talking about when I say momma pause? I'm referring to those moments amidst the chaos when your mind hits pause and the rest of the world keeps moving. It's one of those out-of-body kinds of experiences. You're slowly raising a coffee mug to your lips and savoring the moment while the rest of the world is in fast-forward.

There are times when finding the silver lining in my day is a challenge - something happened at work or crazy traffic or the kids won't listen and you're now on your 3rd pull up since leaving daycare just 30 minutes ago after they didn't have an accident all day. Silver linings don't always catch all the light of the living room lamp, but they shine brightest when I catch a glimpse of one in my children's eyes. Like my almost 3 year old daughter counting to 8, unprompted and without any help. She had never done that for me before today, or my son coming to me to show me something and instead booping me on the nose in the cutest and sweetest little voice. This after he finished throwing a fit that had everyone saying "too loud!"

I realize this phase of parenting eventually ends...or maybe it just grows with the child. There are times its hard to look at the moment and say, "it won't be like this forever," but then I catch those little sweet moments and I'm taken by the fact that "they won't be like this forever." This is why I pause. My momma mind and heart need a moment to refocus and restart. I pause so I can start fresh and do better at catching the glint of the silver hiding in the moment.

Disaster to Declutter

Most teenagers aren't thinking about all they can declutter and donate...but this one is an exception.

The following is a guest post from Parker Karrick.

For as long as I can remember, I've always said “man, one of these days I need to deep clean my room.” Each time I would get something that I didn't know what to do with, I would just shove it in the closet and say, “one of these days…” The cycle just kept continuing until one day... when I HAD to clean my room.

One evening, I was sitting downstairs when I noticed there was some water trickling down the wall. I knew that wasn't right so I went upstairs, told my parents, and after looking into it, they broke the news to me that they were going to have to cut a hole in my closet to check out the pipes in the bathroom. (My closet is right up against the bathroom) Good news for the house. Bad news for my room. I began to unload the stuff from my closet and I suddenly realized how much stuff I had. I thought I might have a lot in there, but I had never thought this much. After about thirty minutes, I stared at my now extremely messy room and dreaded the moment that I was going to have to go through all of it.

It took them about a week to fix the bathroom and patch up the 5’ by 2’ hole in my closet and then I had to start going through the 4’ by 5’ pile of stuff that was waiting for me. Now, don't get me wrong, going through all of that was awful, completely awful, but I knew that it needed to be done. It was also very good for me to do this because it helped me realize that it was all just stuff. Yes, I had some treasures and keepsakes, but the rest of it I truly didn't needed. There wasn't going to be a day when I said “you know what I think I need…” Finally I was left with only what truly mattered to me and what I needed.

I had never thought about becoming a minimalist because I thought it was all about getting rid of everything. But I was wrong, it is about giving up some stuff, but it is about discovering what you love and treasuring it. Now, after four bags of trash and 6 bags/boxes of giveaway items, it feels great. I can't wait to see what else I can do to focus on what I love, what I need, and giving stuff away to those who need it.

In the quiet

Stress....we all have it, and for the most part don't want it or need it. I've heard that there is a good kind of stress and then obviously the bad kind. Too much of the bad and your health starts to become affected. Clearly we don't want the bad stress, but more often than not it decides to take up residence in our heart and head and then sticks around long enough to start affecting the soul.

The other morning I sat down at the kitchen table with my coffee and felt like for the first time in awhile I had a quiet moment. Quiet heart, quiet head, and quiet soul. And then it hit me, like a violently shaking wind...I had lost sight of something important. I had let stress and all its ill effects take over and had lost sight of what I needed.

I've journaled off and on since I was a young girl. It brought me peace and gave me a place to scribble feelings and thoughts. With the new year, I decided that I would try to journal and read more and I kept it up, but it soon fell to the wayside when life took over. Yeah, I used the word life. And really I mean stress....but isn't that how we confuse them? We get so caught up in the stress, some people crave it and seek it out, that we actually forget about living life. I get it. Something happens that throws off a regular routine and everything else seems to go to hell. We've lived this way, accepted this way of life for so long, that we don't even bat and eye that it's not how it's supposed to be. We've bought into the idea that if we're not stressed we're not living. Oh, how wrong that thinking is.

So in the moment of quiet, I grabbed my journal and a devotional book. Opened it to that day and there it was. A message I had needed to hear during all of the time of stress. It calmed me and ignited me all in the same. I had allowed the stress to take over and consume me. It took away my quiet. It stole from me time...time to enjoy and embrace what I've been given. The stress was slowly stealing my joy and I was allowing it because "that's life." No. No its not.

It's easy to declutter our houses and simplify our possessions, but decluttering our hearts and minds is its own challenge. We have to prioritize and let go of what is stealing our joy. We have to reset our hearts and minds to no longer accept the lie that stress is feeding us. It's time to put stress in its place and allow joy to take over.

Take advantage

Weeknights are busy and cluttered with scheduled events and the everyday life stuff like dishes and laundry and night time routines. This is why the couple of days that make up the weekend are so important to us with our kids. We get the (mostly) uninterrupted time to just spend quality time with them. Last weekend just happened to also be a long one with the boys being out of school and me being off work for a Monday holiday. You wanna know what we did? We went to the playground.

Yep...but not just one, we hit up 5 in 2 days! AND added an extra stop at the nature center. And you wanna know what else? The kids loved it! The weather was amazing all weekend and we took advantage of being outside for play. City park playgrounds are free (just in case you haven't been in awhile).

We also took advantage of it being a week day when a free indoor playground was going to be open. The total cash out of pocket for our amazing family weekend...$19 ($2 for a movie rental, $17 for ice cream).

The weather in central Illinois won't always be 70 degrees in the middle of February, but when it is, take advantage. Our weekend wasn't amazing because it was free, it was amazing because we had the chance to say, "let's go to the park" and not worry about the clock. We had the chance to keep the kids surprised about what we were going to do next because we didn't have anywhere else to be other than with them. We had the chance to see all the kids play and explore together. We took the chance to say yes to ice cream before dinner (I mean, who doesn't want ice cream before dinner?).

We took the chance to soak up this time with them...time that seems to be going way too fast. We took advantage of the free and it held way more value than we could have known.

Every Day Should Be Valentine's Day

No, not the commercial aspect of it, with the hubbub, the dinner reservations, and the overpriced candy, flowers, and gift cards, but I'm talking the sentiment and the idea, and if you're truly in love and care about the person you're with, it is.

I'm ridiculously blessed with a woman who agrees with me that the stigma of Valentine's Day is manic and out of hand, (along with so many other reasons) but just like her, I'm a romantic, we just don't save it for one day a year! I buy her flowers because it's a Tuesday (just not this one) and she leaves me notes to find randomly. We send texts and Facebook messages throughout the day of stuff we find, things we want to do, places we want to go, and enough "I love you's" to put Hallmark out of business. There's never a short supply of reasons to love each other.

We also have plenty of date nights. We especially love our date nights in, but we also make the most out of every moment we get to spend together. We cook, we clean, we Netflix binge, we laugh, and everything in between. Just the other night, we were coming back from eating Mexican, and we saw the biggest, brightest moon we had ever seen. I took one look at her and said, "We've got to go chase it!" All she did was nod and away we went. We drove out past the edge of town, found a spot in the clearing, away from the street lights, and just sat in amazement.

When you're with someone you love, every night is date night. We often cook, put on music, dance in the kitchen, and then sit down to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We are that nauseating couple you see out. We even have fun doing chores around the house together. We love to laugh and be goofy together (as seen below), but we also have long, I mean, looooong, serious talks about everything. Just like we've talked about in our previous posts, we make memories that last longer than any physical gift every could.

What I'm trying to say is this...don't save all of your love and romance for one day a year, not even just birthdays and anniversaries. Do things because it's a random day of the week, or just focus on being more in every moment that you get. Hire a babysitter, go for a drive with no destination, surprise her for lunch with a picnic in the park, and buy him his favorite 6 pack. It doesn't have to just be that stuff either, just do things for the other person so they don't have to. If they're your person, love can be anywhere, you just have to look.