10 Items or Less

No, I’m not talking about the express lane at the local store. It’s a concept I came up with while driving and thinking (both of which happen a lot these days, especially together). I tend to be slightly, ok, more than slightly OCD with things and to help me along with this minimalistic lifestyle, I almost need to put numbers with things. Goals. Limits. I’m a man, so compartmentalizing is second nature.

My idea was with clothing, to keep each “category” to 10 items or less. This means 10 t-shirts, 10 dress shirts, 10 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of socks, 10 hats, etc. This was extremely difficult for me in the beginning because I had way more than 10 of each. Sometimes 3-5 times more than that. It was ridiculous. I now wear a work shirt 5 days a week, so my t-shirt drawer became even more of a waste of space.

I had to amend some areas, such as pants. I don’t need 10 pairs of jeans, slacks, and shorts individually, so I decided to lump them all into 1. I have 4 pair of cargo shorts that I like, and in the summer, I can’t wear them too many times before they need washed, so 4 is a good number for me. I only have 2 pairs of slacks, and that’s only because 1 belongs to my only suit for the dressiest occasions. That left 4 open spots for jeans, which is also a good number for me. I wear them the rest of the year, and 1 of the 4 is considered a “work” pair that are older I don’t care if they get torn up.

Another category that I made a conglomeration was the “comfy clothes” area. I like gym shorts and sweat pants to lounge around the house in. I currently have 1 pair of swim trunks, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, and a set of thermal underclothes for when it gets really cold. That still leaves me with 1 spot, but I’ll be pairing down this group again soon, so I won’t even have 10, thus the “less” part of the equation.

You get the point. It helps me keep things in check and also helps with the “1 in, 1 out” mentality that I would like to get to. Only replacing and not adding to. The point is just to learn to live with less, and the numbers don’t always matter, but for me, it helped me stay inside my own box and gave me boundaries. I know I’m not the only one like me out there. Hopefully this gives you a new approach that will help you lose the excess and keep it out.

Man Up

We see it everywhere today, a rising epidemic of boys not being raised into men. A neuterization of the male population, where they can order a latte and hold a webinar, but can’t change a tire or fix a leaky faucet. Some can’t even change a light bulb. I was fortunate enough to have a father who was a jack of all trades. A product of hard work and good raising. Where the value of a hard day’s work and a hard earned dollar are more important than the clothes on your back and the car you drive or even the house you live in. He never did anything around the house without telling me to come and watch because one day, I would be the man of my house and would need to know how to do that. I owe him for the man I am in that aspect. 

Sometimes, I know just enough to be dangerous, but I still know what I’m doing for the most part and there is very little I have to ask help for, and it’s all because of him.

If you’re reading this, and are a man with children, remember that you are a majority of the influence they have in their life. If you have a boy, show them how to be a man. How to do the fundamentals in life, and also how to be a gentleman and treat women with love and respect. If you have a girl, set the standard for men in their life. Let them see what they should look for in a husband and be the benchmark that they gauge every boyfriend against.

 “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they won’t depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Momma Pause

I recently used the phrase momma pause in an Instagram post and I'm noticing they are becoming more frequent or maybe just more intentional. Parenting is hard and rewarding, tiring and energizing, noble and crazy. We are a cable free house, as I've mentioned before, and that change was much less of a big deal than I thought it was going to be. Those moments, previously wasted by mindless TV, are now spent on things that need to be done around the house or reading (if I can string a few of those moments together) or more play time with my kids or more of these pauses.

So what exactly am I talking about when I say momma pause? I'm referring to those moments amidst the chaos when your mind hits pause and the rest of the world keeps moving. It's one of those out-of-body kinds of experiences. You're slowly raising a coffee mug to your lips and savoring the moment while the rest of the world is in fast-forward.

There are times when finding the silver lining in my day is a challenge - something happened at work or crazy traffic or the kids won't listen and you're now on your 3rd pull up since leaving daycare just 30 minutes ago after they didn't have an accident all day. Silver linings don't always catch all the light of the living room lamp, but they shine brightest when I catch a glimpse of one in my children's eyes. Like my almost 3 year old daughter counting to 8, unprompted and without any help. She had never done that for me before today, or my son coming to me to show me something and instead booping me on the nose in the cutest and sweetest little voice. This after he finished throwing a fit that had everyone saying "too loud!"

I realize this phase of parenting eventually ends...or maybe it just grows with the child. There are times its hard to look at the moment and say, "it won't be like this forever," but then I catch those little sweet moments and I'm taken by the fact that "they won't be like this forever." This is why I pause. My momma mind and heart need a moment to refocus and restart. I pause so I can start fresh and do better at catching the glint of the silver hiding in the moment.

Every Day Should Be Valentine's Day

No, not the commercial aspect of it, with the hubbub, the dinner reservations, and the overpriced candy, flowers, and gift cards, but I'm talking the sentiment and the idea, and if you're truly in love and care about the person you're with, it is.

I'm ridiculously blessed with a woman who agrees with me that the stigma of Valentine's Day is manic and out of hand, (along with so many other reasons) but just like her, I'm a romantic, we just don't save it for one day a year! I buy her flowers because it's a Tuesday (just not this one) and she leaves me notes to find randomly. We send texts and Facebook messages throughout the day of stuff we find, things we want to do, places we want to go, and enough "I love you's" to put Hallmark out of business. There's never a short supply of reasons to love each other.

We also have plenty of date nights. We especially love our date nights in, but we also make the most out of every moment we get to spend together. We cook, we clean, we Netflix binge, we laugh, and everything in between. Just the other night, we were coming back from eating Mexican, and we saw the biggest, brightest moon we had ever seen. I took one look at her and said, "We've got to go chase it!" All she did was nod and away we went. We drove out past the edge of town, found a spot in the clearing, away from the street lights, and just sat in amazement.

When you're with someone you love, every night is date night. We often cook, put on music, dance in the kitchen, and then sit down to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We are that nauseating couple you see out. We even have fun doing chores around the house together. We love to laugh and be goofy together (as seen below), but we also have long, I mean, looooong, serious talks about everything. Just like we've talked about in our previous posts, we make memories that last longer than any physical gift every could.

What I'm trying to say is this...don't save all of your love and romance for one day a year, not even just birthdays and anniversaries. Do things because it's a random day of the week, or just focus on being more in every moment that you get. Hire a babysitter, go for a drive with no destination, surprise her for lunch with a picnic in the park, and buy him his favorite 6 pack. It doesn't have to just be that stuff either, just do things for the other person so they don't have to. If they're your person, love can be anywhere, you just have to look.

Date Night

You know those nights when you just don't want to leave the house or put on real pants? The struggle can be real. Jason and I love just spending time together and we don't have to be doing anything special. I recently came across a capital idea (someone else was capitalizing on it, but I was wishing I had...) A date night in kit. You can subscribe to a monthly date night box - ideas prepared, directions provided, no sitter required!

I ran with this idea on my own - cause I'm creative, right?! I went to my favorite website/app...(can you guess? If you're thinking Pinterest - you're a winner!) and started searching. I wanted something tied to hearts (cause, Valentine's day) and a game (we both like games). From my search, I decided on a card game. I created a list of questions and tied them to each of the cards in a deck (red...for Valentine's day:) ) - except for the suit of hearts. I presented the gift as a simple deck of cards and then gave Jason the print out of the questions. We're always asking each other questions - questions on New Year's Eve is what birthed this blog!

Some of the questions were silly and others a little more serious. We had fun sitting around in comfy pants drawing cards and asking each other questions and the sweet little surprise of a <3 card brought on sweet kisses. We really weren't celebrating Valentine's day, we typically come up with a meal idea and cook together on our date nights. That's the thing - date nights don't have to be some elaborate event reservations and a schedule. Date nights for us have always been about spending time together. We've actually never gone to the movies together - we would probably get in trouble at the theater (not for necking...for talking and laughing too loud), but to us time at a theater watching a movie together isn't being present for us (maybe it works for others, and that's great - do what works for you!). We've made 4 hour drives seem like an hour because we get lost in conversation and end up covering topics from things that annoy us to religion. It's who we are and we love that sort of undivided time.

Making time and being present for your significant other doesn't have to cost anything. It's about finding a balance between living everyday life and continually growing a lasting relationship. So maybe you subscribe to the date night box (Google can help you find it AND they have a free newsletter with free date night ideas sent to your inbox) or maybe you do a little search for free date night ideas and make the most of the uninterrupted time. Live purposefully, love intentionally.