Every Day Should Be Valentine's Day

No, not the commercial aspect of it, with the hubbub, the dinner reservations, and the overpriced candy, flowers, and gift cards, but I'm talking the sentiment and the idea, and if you're truly in love and care about the person you're with, it is.

I'm ridiculously blessed with a woman who agrees with me that the stigma of Valentine's Day is manic and out of hand, (along with so many other reasons) but just like her, I'm a romantic, we just don't save it for one day a year! I buy her flowers because it's a Tuesday (just not this one) and she leaves me notes to find randomly. We send texts and Facebook messages throughout the day of stuff we find, things we want to do, places we want to go, and enough "I love you's" to put Hallmark out of business. There's never a short supply of reasons to love each other.

We also have plenty of date nights. We especially love our date nights in, but we also make the most out of every moment we get to spend together. We cook, we clean, we Netflix binge, we laugh, and everything in between. Just the other night, we were coming back from eating Mexican, and we saw the biggest, brightest moon we had ever seen. I took one look at her and said, "We've got to go chase it!" All she did was nod and away we went. We drove out past the edge of town, found a spot in the clearing, away from the street lights, and just sat in amazement.

When you're with someone you love, every night is date night. We often cook, put on music, dance in the kitchen, and then sit down to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We are that nauseating couple you see out. We even have fun doing chores around the house together. We love to laugh and be goofy together (as seen below), but we also have long, I mean, looooong, serious talks about everything. Just like we've talked about in our previous posts, we make memories that last longer than any physical gift every could.

What I'm trying to say is this...don't save all of your love and romance for one day a year, not even just birthdays and anniversaries. Do things because it's a random day of the week, or just focus on being more in every moment that you get. Hire a babysitter, go for a drive with no destination, surprise her for lunch with a picnic in the park, and buy him his favorite 6 pack. It doesn't have to just be that stuff either, just do things for the other person so they don't have to. If they're your person, love can be anywhere, you just have to look.

Collecting Memories, Part 2

So, back a few months ago, I was browsing Facebook, and I came across a post by a band that I love and it was their upcoming tour dates. I nonchalantly mentioned to Alicia that they just so happened to be playing close to us on the day after my birthday. Before I knew it, she had looked it up and purchased tickets. I couldn't believe it. We had been talking about giving memories as gifts, but I never thought that she would have just done that as easily as she did. I was shocked and excited. She wanted us to share the experience of a band that we both enjoy, and it was a birthday gift for me. Double score!

I didn't even have to ask, she just listened and gave me something she knew I would love. We made the 2 hour trip to see them, and it was an amazing time. We talked and laughed the whole way there and back, enjoyed the concert, and even discovered new music in the opening band we had never heard of before. What an experience.

This is a memory that we will both have for the rest of our lives, and I can't wait to make a lot more. It meant so much more to me than something that I would have used up or tossed in a drawer somewhere. It's something that no one can take away from me and will never go bad.

Collecting memories is so much more than just doing stuff or going somewhere. Just like life, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Sure, the destination is the main objective, but what if we hadn't talked on the way? I wouldn't know her any more than I did when we left. Relationships are about communication, understanding, and love. You can't get any of those from a new tie, a bottle of cologne, or a hand saw. You get them from being in the moment. Being engaged in conversation. Being present, not giving presents.

Enjoy the experiences. I'm not saying that tangible gift giving is bad, but what will you really get from it? One thing is for sure, you'll never regret doing something you love. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and make sure you have the right ones by your side.

Not Becoming The Hulk

One thing I tell my boys a lot is that no one else is responsible for your emotions, your actions, or your happiness. They can try to have an impact on them, but at the end of the day, they are YOURS. You chose whether you react in a positive or negative way. We live in a society full of people who thrive off of passing the blame. It's always someone else's fault. Someone made me do it. I'm not responsible for that. That's your problem, not mine.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not always easy to do. There are way too many times that someone cuts me off or goes when it's not their turn at a 4-way-stop and I get infuriated. I'll be the first to admit, I have road rage, but that's no excuse. We all let our kids, our bosses, our ex's, even the slow checkout lady at the store, get the best of us and we snap. We curse, we stomp, we throw things, we might even use a certain finger to release that anger.

So, how do we control those big, green urges? That is the question. I'm reminded of the movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Dr. Rydell (Nicholson) is an anger management guru, and Dave (Sandler) is actually a really mild-mannered guy, whom his girlfriend, Linda, (Marisa Tomei) is trying to get to stand up for himself and not be a push-over, so they put him through the ringer to see what will ruffle his feathers. In one scene, Jack is teaching them the term that the Eskimos use to calm their babies. "Goosfraba". I still to this day will say it jokingly when something is stressing me out.

Does it help? Not really in the sense that the movie suggests, but it does make me laugh, and then the stress is a little more manageable. I don't necessarily recommend you saying it either unless you're alone, otherwise, it could make you look a little crazy. What I do suggest is finding a way to diffuse and decompress. The way you speak to your children becomes their inner voice. The way you speak to others around you also dictates the way they respond and speak to you in return.

The world is full of people who are rushing, stressing, flipping out, and imploding. Take the time to "smell the roses" and enjoy the little things. Live by the 5 by 5 rule. If it's not going to matter in 5 years, then don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. Learn to breathe, let things go, and don't sweat the small stuff (because it's almost all small stuff).