Take advantage

Weeknights are busy and cluttered with scheduled events and the everyday life stuff like dishes and laundry and night time routines. This is why the couple of days that make up the weekend are so important to us with our kids. We get the (mostly) uninterrupted time to just spend quality time with them. Last weekend just happened to also be a long one with the boys being out of school and me being off work for a Monday holiday. You wanna know what we did? We went to the playground.

Yep...but not just one, we hit up 5 in 2 days! AND added an extra stop at the nature center. And you wanna know what else? The kids loved it! The weather was amazing all weekend and we took advantage of being outside for play. City park playgrounds are free (just in case you haven't been in awhile).

We also took advantage of it being a week day when a free indoor playground was going to be open. The total cash out of pocket for our amazing family weekend...$19 ($2 for a movie rental, $17 for ice cream).

The weather in central Illinois won't always be 70 degrees in the middle of February, but when it is, take advantage. Our weekend wasn't amazing because it was free, it was amazing because we had the chance to say, "let's go to the park" and not worry about the clock. We had the chance to keep the kids surprised about what we were going to do next because we didn't have anywhere else to be other than with them. We had the chance to see all the kids play and explore together. We took the chance to say yes to ice cream before dinner (I mean, who doesn't want ice cream before dinner?).

We took the chance to soak up this time with them...time that seems to be going way too fast. We took advantage of the free and it held way more value than we could have known.

Every Day Should Be Valentine's Day

No, not the commercial aspect of it, with the hubbub, the dinner reservations, and the overpriced candy, flowers, and gift cards, but I'm talking the sentiment and the idea, and if you're truly in love and care about the person you're with, it is.

I'm ridiculously blessed with a woman who agrees with me that the stigma of Valentine's Day is manic and out of hand, (along with so many other reasons) but just like her, I'm a romantic, we just don't save it for one day a year! I buy her flowers because it's a Tuesday (just not this one) and she leaves me notes to find randomly. We send texts and Facebook messages throughout the day of stuff we find, things we want to do, places we want to go, and enough "I love you's" to put Hallmark out of business. There's never a short supply of reasons to love each other.

We also have plenty of date nights. We especially love our date nights in, but we also make the most out of every moment we get to spend together. We cook, we clean, we Netflix binge, we laugh, and everything in between. Just the other night, we were coming back from eating Mexican, and we saw the biggest, brightest moon we had ever seen. I took one look at her and said, "We've got to go chase it!" All she did was nod and away we went. We drove out past the edge of town, found a spot in the clearing, away from the street lights, and just sat in amazement.

When you're with someone you love, every night is date night. We often cook, put on music, dance in the kitchen, and then sit down to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We are that nauseating couple you see out. We even have fun doing chores around the house together. We love to laugh and be goofy together (as seen below), but we also have long, I mean, looooong, serious talks about everything. Just like we've talked about in our previous posts, we make memories that last longer than any physical gift every could.

What I'm trying to say is this...don't save all of your love and romance for one day a year, not even just birthdays and anniversaries. Do things because it's a random day of the week, or just focus on being more in every moment that you get. Hire a babysitter, go for a drive with no destination, surprise her for lunch with a picnic in the park, and buy him his favorite 6 pack. It doesn't have to just be that stuff either, just do things for the other person so they don't have to. If they're your person, love can be anywhere, you just have to look.

Collecting Memories, Part 2

So, back a few months ago, I was browsing Facebook, and I came across a post by a band that I love and it was their upcoming tour dates. I nonchalantly mentioned to Alicia that they just so happened to be playing close to us on the day after my birthday. Before I knew it, she had looked it up and purchased tickets. I couldn't believe it. We had been talking about giving memories as gifts, but I never thought that she would have just done that as easily as she did. I was shocked and excited. She wanted us to share the experience of a band that we both enjoy, and it was a birthday gift for me. Double score!

I didn't even have to ask, she just listened and gave me something she knew I would love. We made the 2 hour trip to see them, and it was an amazing time. We talked and laughed the whole way there and back, enjoyed the concert, and even discovered new music in the opening band we had never heard of before. What an experience.

This is a memory that we will both have for the rest of our lives, and I can't wait to make a lot more. It meant so much more to me than something that I would have used up or tossed in a drawer somewhere. It's something that no one can take away from me and will never go bad.

Collecting memories is so much more than just doing stuff or going somewhere. Just like life, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Sure, the destination is the main objective, but what if we hadn't talked on the way? I wouldn't know her any more than I did when we left. Relationships are about communication, understanding, and love. You can't get any of those from a new tie, a bottle of cologne, or a hand saw. You get them from being in the moment. Being engaged in conversation. Being present, not giving presents.

Enjoy the experiences. I'm not saying that tangible gift giving is bad, but what will you really get from it? One thing is for sure, you'll never regret doing something you love. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and make sure you have the right ones by your side.

Collecting Memories, Part 1

Oh, gift giving...it can be frustrating, maybe a little fun, and usually ends up with more money out of the wallet than planned. I had been contemplating the idea of giving experiences rather than gifts before taking on minimalism, but now I'm even more sold on the idea. So let's ask ourselves (just over a month removed from the holiday season), how often do I actually use or, dare I say, enjoy gifts that I receive? Now...family members reading this, your gifts this year followed along this same idea and you didn't even realize it (go you!).

Back in October, when Jason asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I simply answered, "a day in St. Louis." I can't remember now if he thought the idea was strange, but I did explain myself. I wanted a day, just the 2 of us, getting to spend quality time together and I had the trip mapped out by food (I consider myself a modest foodie). We were going to start the day at IKEA with an amazing cinnamon roll and then walk it off as we got lost in the super store. Then we were going to head to a funky restaurant with BBQ (BBQ is it's own food group in my opinion, and my favorite). And lastly, we were headed to a certain "factory" known for their cake made out of cheese (you know the one ;) It was such a fun day, even if it started out with me not feeling good after starting to get sick on my actual birthday. We had time to talk and work on our communication skills through GPS and big city traffic (no one yelled or got mad...yay us!). It was so nice just to get to be present with one another.

It was also in October when Jason said he knew what he wanted for his birthday - concert tickets. He kind of brushed it off and said that it would be fun, but it was next year and a lot could be going on then. I looked and the tickets didn't go on sale for another week, but I took note and let it go. The next week rolled around, I bought the tickets, and then showed him the confirmation. He didn't think I would actually get them for him, so it was a very early birthday surprise. I'll let him tell you more about the trip (see it here), but I want to say this. Both of us value the time we get to spend together and it really doesn't even matter what we're doing - as long as we're together. Both trips were more than just a celebration of the person, but time spent doing something the other genuinely wanted to do. That's the kind of gift giving we can get behind.

We have plans to continue this sort of "gift" giving with the kids this year and look forward to the memories made. Now that we're on this journey, it has become even clearer that memories and time are more valuable than a gift that won't be relevant in a month. We know this concept will be much harder for the kids to understand - they aren't in the same place as us. They only know unwrapping presents. Don't worry - we're not taking away all the fun of unwrapping gifts for them. We just agree that this idea or concept of gift giving will be more rewarding. How many years have parents been saying, "and they just played with the box"? It will be fun to see how the kids remember these trips as they grow up.

It's the same for us as adults. We don't need anything. Sure stuff wears out and need to be replaced, but right now, we're good. Gifts don't have to be tangible objects - they can all be about time. Time spent together - enjoying a meal/coffee together, exploring a city/museum/landmark, doing a hobby/passion together...it's all about being together, being present. That's the best kind of present.

I don't know about you, but I would rather have a heart full of memories than a collection of dusty trinkets.

Top Dollar

I guess in order to really sell this lifestyle, we have to break it down even further and dig into this idea of value. We've said it over and over in our posts, to ourselves and each other - does this add value? So...how do you define value?

My family used to own a bakery and for a year I decorated cakes for special orders. Customers would come in and talk with me about what they wanted and how they imagined the cake to look. I would quote them a price based on the size of the cake and how long the decorating would take, they would be on their happy way, and I would begin planning for their order. Almost everyone understands that small, family businesses are a little bit more expensive than the big box stores, but that's because small businesses don't have as many customers, can't purchase bulk by the millions, and you're getting a familiar face who you know and trust.

We had tons of loyal, repeat customers. They knew what they were going to get and they knew that quality products not chalked full of fillers meant they were going to know exactly what went into making their bread, noodles, or cakes - they were willing to pay for quality. One day, a customer comes in with his granddaughter and they want to place an order for the girl's birthday cake. She wanted Batman (only a little significant to the story, but cool because I hadn't had a little girl request a superhero). I quoted a price, grandpa agreed and off they went. The order was completed a couple days later and it was grandma who came to pick up the cake. Well...grandma wasn't happy. Grandma didn't understand why the cake cost so much. I told her what I quoted her husband and he said it was fine and that it took more coloring to make all the black icing and thus more time was spent on the cake. She was outraged, and so was I. I had worked hard on this cake and did just what the little girl wanted and when I piped the last bit of icing on the cake, I was sure the little girl was going to love it. But that thought was quickly ruined by someone who didn't take value in my work - my time.

I can tell you this - I value relationships, I value time, and I value hard work. All of these are pretty self-explanatory. I find value in having good relationships - for my relational people to be present when we're together, and that our time spent together brings feelings of love, happiness, and fulfillment. My time spent cooking a meal, baking a dessert, or working on a project have value to me, and I value the hard work of others, because without others working hard, I would be doing even more to stay afloat - my daycare provider is a prime example of this.

What about you? What do you value in yourself? What do you value in others? What kind of value do you give things?

What about your home? Think about the price per square foot of your home. Now look around - how much of that valuable space is being inhabited by clutter...junk...space-fillers?

Living this lifestyle isn't asking you to give up everything you have and live in a tiny house with only 10 pieces of clothing. This lifestyle is about making the most out of life. Living with less means living to the fullest. No longer are you weighed down by the junk that adds no value. No longer are you wasting time maintaining the clutter (we've all dusted around a knickknack that we hate). You now have time to work on relationships, cross off some items on your bucket list, or pursue a new hobby. You can live a life of less stress and more happy. You can value your life at top dollar.

In the Excess

More often than not, we can get wrapped up in the feel-good feeling of having everything we want and catching that high that comes from it. That's actually what advertisers want us to do.  They want us to get that jolt of dopamine (feel-good chemical) in our brain that tells us "this feels good," "I want more of this," and "I NEED more of this!" But do we really need more?

Now...don't get me wrong - I won't be donating one of the 2 - 9x13 baking dishes that I have...that extra dish isn't excess. I use it and use it most when family is visiting. But what I do have an excess amount of is clothes and shoes...oh yeah, and necklaces and scarves. I know that I have pieces I haven't worn in the last year...maybe even 2 or 3 years. That's the stuff we're talking about.

I want to be free from the possessive grip of things

and find love through value.

Throughout the declutter (purging) process, we constantly want to be asking ourselves - does this bring value to my life? For some, a bookcase full of books brings value to their lives. I actually purged a lot of books that just sat in my house taking up space a couple of years ago. The purging process doesn't look the same for everyone. You might start by only getting rid of one item at a time. Or maybe you take the NOTHING-LEFT-BEHIND approach (said like Braveheart storming the enemy). This journey looks different for everyone.

When I first brought the idea of minimalism to Jason and asked, "what do you think?" I could see he was worried that I had gone off the deep end. But then I found the documentary (as previously mentioned) and within the first 10 minutes I was ready to start filling trash bags to get rid of stuff. I was so profoundly moved by this documentary (that rarely happens for me).

A couple months before I turned 31, I knew I wanted to live this life differently. I no longer wanted to worry about what others thought of my closet. I wanted to be very specific with my gift giving (since Christmas was approaching). I wanted to stop dusting all the junk.

So...where are you in this journey? Are we the first to bring this lifestyle to your attention? Have you had similar thoughts recently? Let us know - we would love to read your feedback!

We know that this is still new for us and we're wading our way through it, but we have a plan and we're going to stick this out.

Practical Minimalism

The beauty of minimalism is that there aren't any guidelines. It's not a one size fits all solution.

After watching the documentary, The Minimalists, we came to a greater understanding of how this lifestyle can be made our own. (By the way...go watch the documentary, available on Netflix, and then come back here.)

This all started with art...not for us, but the minimalism movement started with artists throwing one color of paint at a canvas and calling it art. It started with an artist stacking some bricks in an art gallery and calling it art. Who says it's art? Who makes this determination...this distinction?

What was the last thing you looked at and thought, "that's beautiful"? Is that not art? Take photography for example - just a few short years ago people would only GO to the studio to have a family portrait taken. Now lifestyle photography is a thing. You hire a photographer to come to your home and take pictures of your family doing the ordinary. But is it just ordinary? Is life where you live ordinary? Are the memories you're making ordinary? The most life is lived in what we ashamedly call the ordinary.

How does this look for us?  We're not going to sell everything and live out of what we can carry on our backs.  We want to live with what is enough. We don't need closets filled to the brim with clothing.  We don't need enough plates to feed the army of guests we will never invite over. As Americans, we seem to have a problem with blank - blank space, blank walls, blank...blank...blank...

So what is enough? We are asking ourselves, does this add any value to our lives?

"Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of lives excess in favor of focusing on

what's important - so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom." 
-The Minimalists

It's the excess that tends to collect the most dust. Have you ever stood in your closet searching for something to wear only to notice that you have clothing that has collected dust? I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm guilty. What I thought I needed and wanted at one moment in time had fallen victim to my desire for more. Turns out, I didn't need that shirt - I didn't need the 5 of them that hung there with dusty shoulders. I hadn't found enough value in them to let them serve their purpose.

In a world of "more, more, more," we are repeatedly finding out it's not enough. We begin here...the idea of ridding the excess and finding the value in what we have.