Collecting Memories, Part 2

So, back a few months ago, I was browsing Facebook, and I came across a post by a band that I love and it was their upcoming tour dates. I nonchalantly mentioned to Alicia that they just so happened to be playing close to us on the day after my birthday. Before I knew it, she had looked it up and purchased tickets. I couldn't believe it. We had been talking about giving memories as gifts, but I never thought that she would have just done that as easily as she did. I was shocked and excited. She wanted us to share the experience of a band that we both enjoy, and it was a birthday gift for me. Double score!

I didn't even have to ask, she just listened and gave me something she knew I would love. We made the 2 hour trip to see them, and it was an amazing time. We talked and laughed the whole way there and back, enjoyed the concert, and even discovered new music in the opening band we had never heard of before. What an experience.

This is a memory that we will both have for the rest of our lives, and I can't wait to make a lot more. It meant so much more to me than something that I would have used up or tossed in a drawer somewhere. It's something that no one can take away from me and will never go bad.

Collecting memories is so much more than just doing stuff or going somewhere. Just like life, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Sure, the destination is the main objective, but what if we hadn't talked on the way? I wouldn't know her any more than I did when we left. Relationships are about communication, understanding, and love. You can't get any of those from a new tie, a bottle of cologne, or a hand saw. You get them from being in the moment. Being engaged in conversation. Being present, not giving presents.

Enjoy the experiences. I'm not saying that tangible gift giving is bad, but what will you really get from it? One thing is for sure, you'll never regret doing something you love. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and make sure you have the right ones by your side.

Collecting Memories, Part 1

Oh, gift giving...it can be frustrating, maybe a little fun, and usually ends up with more money out of the wallet than planned. I had been contemplating the idea of giving experiences rather than gifts before taking on minimalism, but now I'm even more sold on the idea. So let's ask ourselves (just over a month removed from the holiday season), how often do I actually use or, dare I say, enjoy gifts that I receive? Now...family members reading this, your gifts this year followed along this same idea and you didn't even realize it (go you!).

Back in October, when Jason asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I simply answered, "a day in St. Louis." I can't remember now if he thought the idea was strange, but I did explain myself. I wanted a day, just the 2 of us, getting to spend quality time together and I had the trip mapped out by food (I consider myself a modest foodie). We were going to start the day at IKEA with an amazing cinnamon roll and then walk it off as we got lost in the super store. Then we were going to head to a funky restaurant with BBQ (BBQ is it's own food group in my opinion, and my favorite). And lastly, we were headed to a certain "factory" known for their cake made out of cheese (you know the one ;) It was such a fun day, even if it started out with me not feeling good after starting to get sick on my actual birthday. We had time to talk and work on our communication skills through GPS and big city traffic (no one yelled or got mad...yay us!). It was so nice just to get to be present with one another.

It was also in October when Jason said he knew what he wanted for his birthday - concert tickets. He kind of brushed it off and said that it would be fun, but it was next year and a lot could be going on then. I looked and the tickets didn't go on sale for another week, but I took note and let it go. The next week rolled around, I bought the tickets, and then showed him the confirmation. He didn't think I would actually get them for him, so it was a very early birthday surprise. I'll let him tell you more about the trip (see it here), but I want to say this. Both of us value the time we get to spend together and it really doesn't even matter what we're doing - as long as we're together. Both trips were more than just a celebration of the person, but time spent doing something the other genuinely wanted to do. That's the kind of gift giving we can get behind.

We have plans to continue this sort of "gift" giving with the kids this year and look forward to the memories made. Now that we're on this journey, it has become even clearer that memories and time are more valuable than a gift that won't be relevant in a month. We know this concept will be much harder for the kids to understand - they aren't in the same place as us. They only know unwrapping presents. Don't worry - we're not taking away all the fun of unwrapping gifts for them. We just agree that this idea or concept of gift giving will be more rewarding. How many years have parents been saying, "and they just played with the box"? It will be fun to see how the kids remember these trips as they grow up.

It's the same for us as adults. We don't need anything. Sure stuff wears out and need to be replaced, but right now, we're good. Gifts don't have to be tangible objects - they can all be about time. Time spent together - enjoying a meal/coffee together, exploring a city/museum/landmark, doing a hobby/passion together...it's all about being together, being present. That's the best kind of present.

I don't know about you, but I would rather have a heart full of memories than a collection of dusty trinkets.