No Thanks for the Memories

Wanna hear something crazy? I burned my high school yearbooks. (Insert gasps here)

It’s come to my attention lately that we treat trophies and photo albums like holy grails. An object that hails highly in our mind as being a symbol of a memory or accomplishment, but where is that memory really held? Things only have whatever meaning or value we give to them. The memories are inside of us, not the object.

That’s why I burned my yearbooks. Let’s be honest, most of us probably didn’t have the most amazing high school experience. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and away from all the immature drama and the stigma that went along with it. I never really had a “crowd” I fit in with, and I already had a summer camp job lined up after my senior year that caused me to miss my graduation ceremony, and I couldn’t have cared less. I was ready to move on, so looking back, I don’t really want to be reminded of all of that. My best memories throughout my teens were made outside of school.

The four dusty books that just took up space and were constantly being shuffled around had to go. Call it an effigy if you will, but ceremony notwithstanding, it needed to be done to release the anxiety and frustration that came with keeping them around, now 15 years later. The people I care to remember are friends on Facebook, but even at that, we rarely speak. We all have families, jobs, and hobbies that keep us busy now. It’s all part of the circadian rhythm that is life.

Alicia has started to do some of this too. We found disks that contained the same pictures she had multiple albums of, so we decided to pitch the hard copies in sake of redundancy. Digitalizing documents and photos is a great way to declutter, and also maintain the integrity of the items that you hold dear in case of an emergency.

I’m not telling you that you need to go out and do what we did, but really start to think about the keepsakes in your house, and what the sake is you’re keeping them for. Memories? Those are inside YOU! Objects, trophies, pictures, they don’t tell the whole story. You do. 

10 Items or Less

No, I’m not talking about the express lane at the local store. It’s a concept I came up with while driving and thinking (both of which happen a lot these days, especially together). I tend to be slightly, ok, more than slightly OCD with things and to help me along with this minimalistic lifestyle, I almost need to put numbers with things. Goals. Limits. I’m a man, so compartmentalizing is second nature.

My idea was with clothing, to keep each “category” to 10 items or less. This means 10 t-shirts, 10 dress shirts, 10 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of socks, 10 hats, etc. This was extremely difficult for me in the beginning because I had way more than 10 of each. Sometimes 3-5 times more than that. It was ridiculous. I now wear a work shirt 5 days a week, so my t-shirt drawer became even more of a waste of space.

I had to amend some areas, such as pants. I don’t need 10 pairs of jeans, slacks, and shorts individually, so I decided to lump them all into 1. I have 4 pair of cargo shorts that I like, and in the summer, I can’t wear them too many times before they need washed, so 4 is a good number for me. I only have 2 pairs of slacks, and that’s only because 1 belongs to my only suit for the dressiest occasions. That left 4 open spots for jeans, which is also a good number for me. I wear them the rest of the year, and 1 of the 4 is considered a “work” pair that are older I don’t care if they get torn up.

Another category that I made a conglomeration was the “comfy clothes” area. I like gym shorts and sweat pants to lounge around the house in. I currently have 1 pair of swim trunks, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, and a set of thermal underclothes for when it gets really cold. That still leaves me with 1 spot, but I’ll be pairing down this group again soon, so I won’t even have 10, thus the “less” part of the equation.

You get the point. It helps me keep things in check and also helps with the “1 in, 1 out” mentality that I would like to get to. Only replacing and not adding to. The point is just to learn to live with less, and the numbers don’t always matter, but for me, it helped me stay inside my own box and gave me boundaries. I know I’m not the only one like me out there. Hopefully this gives you a new approach that will help you lose the excess and keep it out.

Top Dollar

I guess in order to really sell this lifestyle, we have to break it down even further and dig into this idea of value. We've said it over and over in our posts, to ourselves and each other - does this add value? So...how do you define value?

My family used to own a bakery and for a year I decorated cakes for special orders. Customers would come in and talk with me about what they wanted and how they imagined the cake to look. I would quote them a price based on the size of the cake and how long the decorating would take, they would be on their happy way, and I would begin planning for their order. Almost everyone understands that small, family businesses are a little bit more expensive than the big box stores, but that's because small businesses don't have as many customers, can't purchase bulk by the millions, and you're getting a familiar face who you know and trust.

We had tons of loyal, repeat customers. They knew what they were going to get and they knew that quality products not chalked full of fillers meant they were going to know exactly what went into making their bread, noodles, or cakes - they were willing to pay for quality. One day, a customer comes in with his granddaughter and they want to place an order for the girl's birthday cake. She wanted Batman (only a little significant to the story, but cool because I hadn't had a little girl request a superhero). I quoted a price, grandpa agreed and off they went. The order was completed a couple days later and it was grandma who came to pick up the cake. Well...grandma wasn't happy. Grandma didn't understand why the cake cost so much. I told her what I quoted her husband and he said it was fine and that it took more coloring to make all the black icing and thus more time was spent on the cake. She was outraged, and so was I. I had worked hard on this cake and did just what the little girl wanted and when I piped the last bit of icing on the cake, I was sure the little girl was going to love it. But that thought was quickly ruined by someone who didn't take value in my work - my time.

I can tell you this - I value relationships, I value time, and I value hard work. All of these are pretty self-explanatory. I find value in having good relationships - for my relational people to be present when we're together, and that our time spent together brings feelings of love, happiness, and fulfillment. My time spent cooking a meal, baking a dessert, or working on a project have value to me, and I value the hard work of others, because without others working hard, I would be doing even more to stay afloat - my daycare provider is a prime example of this.

What about you? What do you value in yourself? What do you value in others? What kind of value do you give things?

What about your home? Think about the price per square foot of your home. Now look around - how much of that valuable space is being inhabited by clutter...junk...space-fillers?

Living this lifestyle isn't asking you to give up everything you have and live in a tiny house with only 10 pieces of clothing. This lifestyle is about making the most out of life. Living with less means living to the fullest. No longer are you weighed down by the junk that adds no value. No longer are you wasting time maintaining the clutter (we've all dusted around a knickknack that we hate). You now have time to work on relationships, cross off some items on your bucket list, or pursue a new hobby. You can live a life of less stress and more happy. You can value your life at top dollar.

Useful & Beautiful

have nothing in your house that you do not know to

be useful, or believe to be beautiful

- william morris

We are a cluttered culture. We crave filled spaces - in our homes...in our lives. We have junk overtaking our drawers, multi-car garages, storage sheds, and possibly rent storage space down the street. Think about that for a moment.....we actually pay for extra space to store our extra stuff.... All of this "more" we thought we needed is sitting somewhere else collecting dust.

At every thought of this lifestyle, I've seen a glimpse of freedom. Freedom from the clutter, freedom from the stress, freedom from the burden. Most people don't look at their house and say, "I think I need some more junk mail piled up on the counter and maybe another load of laundry just sitting by the couch." I don't look around my home and wish I had more clutter. But isn't that what the "more" we're always wanting becomes? Just more sitting around with no purpose, seemingly no value, taking up space, and growing another layer of dust. It's time for a change...I'm trading clutter for useful and beautiful.

About 2 years ago, I had a vision for this skinny little wall that separates my living room from my kitchen. I was never really happy with the items that graced its space. Until one day, I stumbled upon an idea on Pinterest (shhh...it's my other love). The idea was simple and had this sort of industrial beauty. I enlisted the help of my dad to find the boards and the next time he was visiting we went shopping for the other pieces. Now it's one of my favorite walls. Not only did I find a way to make this little space useful, but its purpose became something for beauty.

These are found to be beautiful - art, gifts, and memories.

I'm done with the notion of having something in my home just because someone else has deemed it trendy. I want my home to showcase not just the things I find useful and beautiful, but highlight all the things that I do that are beautiful - raising my children, spending time with family, cooking for those I love. From now on, my collections will consist of laughter, love, and memories.