Not Becoming The Hulk

One thing I tell my boys a lot is that no one else is responsible for your emotions, your actions, or your happiness. They can try to have an impact on them, but at the end of the day, they are YOURS. You chose whether you react in a positive or negative way. We live in a society full of people who thrive off of passing the blame. It's always someone else's fault. Someone made me do it. I'm not responsible for that. That's your problem, not mine.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not always easy to do. There are way too many times that someone cuts me off or goes when it's not their turn at a 4-way-stop and I get infuriated. I'll be the first to admit, I have road rage, but that's no excuse. We all let our kids, our bosses, our ex's, even the slow checkout lady at the store, get the best of us and we snap. We curse, we stomp, we throw things, we might even use a certain finger to release that anger.

So, how do we control those big, green urges? That is the question. I'm reminded of the movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Dr. Rydell (Nicholson) is an anger management guru, and Dave (Sandler) is actually a really mild-mannered guy, whom his girlfriend, Linda, (Marisa Tomei) is trying to get to stand up for himself and not be a push-over, so they put him through the ringer to see what will ruffle his feathers. In one scene, Jack is teaching them the term that the Eskimos use to calm their babies. "Goosfraba". I still to this day will say it jokingly when something is stressing me out.

Does it help? Not really in the sense that the movie suggests, but it does make me laugh, and then the stress is a little more manageable. I don't necessarily recommend you saying it either unless you're alone, otherwise, it could make you look a little crazy. What I do suggest is finding a way to diffuse and decompress. The way you speak to your children becomes their inner voice. The way you speak to others around you also dictates the way they respond and speak to you in return.

The world is full of people who are rushing, stressing, flipping out, and imploding. Take the time to "smell the roses" and enjoy the little things. Live by the 5 by 5 rule. If it's not going to matter in 5 years, then don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. Learn to breathe, let things go, and don't sweat the small stuff (because it's almost all small stuff).