Take advantage

Weeknights are busy and cluttered with scheduled events and the everyday life stuff like dishes and laundry and night time routines. This is why the couple of days that make up the weekend are so important to us with our kids. We get the (mostly) uninterrupted time to just spend quality time with them. Last weekend just happened to also be a long one with the boys being out of school and me being off work for a Monday holiday. You wanna know what we did? We went to the playground.

Yep...but not just one, we hit up 5 in 2 days! AND added an extra stop at the nature center. And you wanna know what else? The kids loved it! The weather was amazing all weekend and we took advantage of being outside for play. City park playgrounds are free (just in case you haven't been in awhile).

We also took advantage of it being a week day when a free indoor playground was going to be open. The total cash out of pocket for our amazing family weekend...$19 ($2 for a movie rental, $17 for ice cream).

The weather in central Illinois won't always be 70 degrees in the middle of February, but when it is, take advantage. Our weekend wasn't amazing because it was free, it was amazing because we had the chance to say, "let's go to the park" and not worry about the clock. We had the chance to keep the kids surprised about what we were going to do next because we didn't have anywhere else to be other than with them. We had the chance to see all the kids play and explore together. We took the chance to say yes to ice cream before dinner (I mean, who doesn't want ice cream before dinner?).

We took the chance to soak up this time with them...time that seems to be going way too fast. We took advantage of the free and it held way more value than we could have known.

Every Day Should Be Valentine's Day

No, not the commercial aspect of it, with the hubbub, the dinner reservations, and the overpriced candy, flowers, and gift cards, but I'm talking the sentiment and the idea, and if you're truly in love and care about the person you're with, it is.

I'm ridiculously blessed with a woman who agrees with me that the stigma of Valentine's Day is manic and out of hand, (along with so many other reasons) but just like her, I'm a romantic, we just don't save it for one day a year! I buy her flowers because it's a Tuesday (just not this one) and she leaves me notes to find randomly. We send texts and Facebook messages throughout the day of stuff we find, things we want to do, places we want to go, and enough "I love you's" to put Hallmark out of business. There's never a short supply of reasons to love each other.

We also have plenty of date nights. We especially love our date nights in, but we also make the most out of every moment we get to spend together. We cook, we clean, we Netflix binge, we laugh, and everything in between. Just the other night, we were coming back from eating Mexican, and we saw the biggest, brightest moon we had ever seen. I took one look at her and said, "We've got to go chase it!" All she did was nod and away we went. We drove out past the edge of town, found a spot in the clearing, away from the street lights, and just sat in amazement.

When you're with someone you love, every night is date night. We often cook, put on music, dance in the kitchen, and then sit down to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We are that nauseating couple you see out. We even have fun doing chores around the house together. We love to laugh and be goofy together (as seen below), but we also have long, I mean, looooong, serious talks about everything. Just like we've talked about in our previous posts, we make memories that last longer than any physical gift every could.

What I'm trying to say is this...don't save all of your love and romance for one day a year, not even just birthdays and anniversaries. Do things because it's a random day of the week, or just focus on being more in every moment that you get. Hire a babysitter, go for a drive with no destination, surprise her for lunch with a picnic in the park, and buy him his favorite 6 pack. It doesn't have to just be that stuff either, just do things for the other person so they don't have to. If they're your person, love can be anywhere, you just have to look.

Date Night

You know those nights when you just don't want to leave the house or put on real pants? The struggle can be real. Jason and I love just spending time together and we don't have to be doing anything special. I recently came across a capital idea (someone else was capitalizing on it, but I was wishing I had...) A date night in kit. You can subscribe to a monthly date night box - ideas prepared, directions provided, no sitter required!

I ran with this idea on my own - cause I'm creative, right?! I went to my favorite website/app...(can you guess? If you're thinking Pinterest - you're a winner!) and started searching. I wanted something tied to hearts (cause, Valentine's day) and a game (we both like games). From my search, I decided on a card game. I created a list of questions and tied them to each of the cards in a deck (red...for Valentine's day:) ) - except for the suit of hearts. I presented the gift as a simple deck of cards and then gave Jason the print out of the questions. We're always asking each other questions - questions on New Year's Eve is what birthed this blog!

Some of the questions were silly and others a little more serious. We had fun sitting around in comfy pants drawing cards and asking each other questions and the sweet little surprise of a <3 card brought on sweet kisses. We really weren't celebrating Valentine's day, we typically come up with a meal idea and cook together on our date nights. That's the thing - date nights don't have to be some elaborate event reservations and a schedule. Date nights for us have always been about spending time together. We've actually never gone to the movies together - we would probably get in trouble at the theater (not for necking...for talking and laughing too loud), but to us time at a theater watching a movie together isn't being present for us (maybe it works for others, and that's great - do what works for you!). We've made 4 hour drives seem like an hour because we get lost in conversation and end up covering topics from things that annoy us to religion. It's who we are and we love that sort of undivided time.

Making time and being present for your significant other doesn't have to cost anything. It's about finding a balance between living everyday life and continually growing a lasting relationship. So maybe you subscribe to the date night box (Google can help you find it AND they have a free newsletter with free date night ideas sent to your inbox) or maybe you do a little search for free date night ideas and make the most of the uninterrupted time. Live purposefully, love intentionally.

Old Pavement

In 2013, I took up running. I hadn't really done it before unless I had to (think junior high PE class). I signed up for a 5k which was a way of forcing myself to prepare. I wasn't going to step on the pavement the day of the race and it be the first. At my best, I was running 3 to 4 days a week. It was my alone time, in the cold morning air, moving my body for a purpose. I was driven and had a goal. That year I ended up running four 5ks and one 6k. I felt good and I was addicted - to the run, the pain, and the high. Then in the fall of 2013, I became pregnant with the twins. Due to my already high risk status, I took a break from running and focused on being pregnant. Then I got the crazy notion to do another 5k...while pregnant...with twins - after a snow and ice storm with the temperature of 14 degrees in February of 2014. Yeah...I didn't run one bit of that, but I walked it and didn't come in last (ok...second to last, but I still got a medal).

After the twins were born, I tried running again, but it wasn't the same - it didn't feel right. I think I ran maybe a total of 4 times in the whole year of 2014. In 2015, I ran once. 2016 - 0. Where had my passion for pounding the pavement gone?

Not only did I take on this lifestyle of minimalism, but I've also tried to start over on healthier eating habits and hoping that would lead to more energy for being active. This past weekend my eating habits started looking like the old me and I made food choices that weren't the best. The process of reprogramming my body is just that...a process.

Out of nowhere, I woke up this morning with the desire to run. When I talked to Jason at lunch, I told him - hoping it would be more conviction for me to actually do it when I got home - just in case I tried to shy away from it. See, this new lifestyle has really got me to thinking (that may be dangerous) about a lot of things, but mostly time: time with family, time at work, time spent preparing/planning, how I can be making the most of my time, and how to not waste it. Normally I would come home from work on days without the kids and do a couple of things around the house, make some dinner, and maybe read a few articles or watch a movie and yet I still manage to not use some of that time to take care of myself. Today I changed that. I got home, put on running clothes that haven't been touched since 2014 and set out on the first course I ever started running. 4 minutes in and I felt like dying, but I kept going. It wasn't a great time and it wasn't a great distance, but I did it. I felt my heart saying I needed a run and I listened.

No longer are the days of sitting around and thinking, "I should really start running again." You can insert your own verb there - exercising, playing with my kids, cooking healthy, etc. No longer are the days of someday - someday I'll do that again, someday I'll finish that project, someday... Someday is today and every day after - the change doesn't have to be great, but you have to take the first step and there's no sense in waiting. Start now.

Collecting Memories, Part 2

So, back a few months ago, I was browsing Facebook, and I came across a post by a band that I love and it was their upcoming tour dates. I nonchalantly mentioned to Alicia that they just so happened to be playing close to us on the day after my birthday. Before I knew it, she had looked it up and purchased tickets. I couldn't believe it. We had been talking about giving memories as gifts, but I never thought that she would have just done that as easily as she did. I was shocked and excited. She wanted us to share the experience of a band that we both enjoy, and it was a birthday gift for me. Double score!

I didn't even have to ask, she just listened and gave me something she knew I would love. We made the 2 hour trip to see them, and it was an amazing time. We talked and laughed the whole way there and back, enjoyed the concert, and even discovered new music in the opening band we had never heard of before. What an experience.

This is a memory that we will both have for the rest of our lives, and I can't wait to make a lot more. It meant so much more to me than something that I would have used up or tossed in a drawer somewhere. It's something that no one can take away from me and will never go bad.

Collecting memories is so much more than just doing stuff or going somewhere. Just like life, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Sure, the destination is the main objective, but what if we hadn't talked on the way? I wouldn't know her any more than I did when we left. Relationships are about communication, understanding, and love. You can't get any of those from a new tie, a bottle of cologne, or a hand saw. You get them from being in the moment. Being engaged in conversation. Being present, not giving presents.

Enjoy the experiences. I'm not saying that tangible gift giving is bad, but what will you really get from it? One thing is for sure, you'll never regret doing something you love. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and make sure you have the right ones by your side.

Collecting Memories, Part 1

Oh, gift giving...it can be frustrating, maybe a little fun, and usually ends up with more money out of the wallet than planned. I had been contemplating the idea of giving experiences rather than gifts before taking on minimalism, but now I'm even more sold on the idea. So let's ask ourselves (just over a month removed from the holiday season), how often do I actually use or, dare I say, enjoy gifts that I receive? Now...family members reading this, your gifts this year followed along this same idea and you didn't even realize it (go you!).

Back in October, when Jason asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I simply answered, "a day in St. Louis." I can't remember now if he thought the idea was strange, but I did explain myself. I wanted a day, just the 2 of us, getting to spend quality time together and I had the trip mapped out by food (I consider myself a modest foodie). We were going to start the day at IKEA with an amazing cinnamon roll and then walk it off as we got lost in the super store. Then we were going to head to a funky restaurant with BBQ (BBQ is it's own food group in my opinion, and my favorite). And lastly, we were headed to a certain "factory" known for their cake made out of cheese (you know the one ;) It was such a fun day, even if it started out with me not feeling good after starting to get sick on my actual birthday. We had time to talk and work on our communication skills through GPS and big city traffic (no one yelled or got mad...yay us!). It was so nice just to get to be present with one another.

It was also in October when Jason said he knew what he wanted for his birthday - concert tickets. He kind of brushed it off and said that it would be fun, but it was next year and a lot could be going on then. I looked and the tickets didn't go on sale for another week, but I took note and let it go. The next week rolled around, I bought the tickets, and then showed him the confirmation. He didn't think I would actually get them for him, so it was a very early birthday surprise. I'll let him tell you more about the trip (see it here), but I want to say this. Both of us value the time we get to spend together and it really doesn't even matter what we're doing - as long as we're together. Both trips were more than just a celebration of the person, but time spent doing something the other genuinely wanted to do. That's the kind of gift giving we can get behind.

We have plans to continue this sort of "gift" giving with the kids this year and look forward to the memories made. Now that we're on this journey, it has become even clearer that memories and time are more valuable than a gift that won't be relevant in a month. We know this concept will be much harder for the kids to understand - they aren't in the same place as us. They only know unwrapping presents. Don't worry - we're not taking away all the fun of unwrapping gifts for them. We just agree that this idea or concept of gift giving will be more rewarding. How many years have parents been saying, "and they just played with the box"? It will be fun to see how the kids remember these trips as they grow up.

It's the same for us as adults. We don't need anything. Sure stuff wears out and need to be replaced, but right now, we're good. Gifts don't have to be tangible objects - they can all be about time. Time spent together - enjoying a meal/coffee together, exploring a city/museum/landmark, doing a hobby/passion together...it's all about being together, being present. That's the best kind of present.

I don't know about you, but I would rather have a heart full of memories than a collection of dusty trinkets.